If God were a professor at a university, he or she didn’t really do much to earn tenure. In fact, there are more than a dozen ways that tenure will likely remain out of God’s grasp. From holding office hours on the top of a mountain to not publishing enough books, it’s not looking good.
The following was posted by a student’s former statistics teacher on his Facebook wall. It was then shared via Reddit and is purely for amusement and not meant to offend in any way.
- Because he had only one major publication.
- And it was in Hebrew.
- And it had no cited references.
- And it wasn’t published in a refereed journal or even submitted for peer review.
- And some even doubt he wrote it himself.
- It may be true that he created the world but what has he done since?
- His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
- The scientific community has had a very rough time trying to replicate his results.
- He never applied to the Ethics Board for permission to use human subjects.
- When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects.
- When subjects didn’t behave as predicted, he often punished them, or just deleted them from the sample.
- He rarely came to class, just told students to read the book.
- He had his son teach the class.
- He expelled his first two students for learning.
- Although there were only ten requirements, most students failed his tests.
- His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.